THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
