Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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