is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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