I wannas sexs uuuuu
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
