I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
