I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
