She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
