I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
