a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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