he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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