are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
