if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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