me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
