they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
