the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
