It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Shame - the story of my life.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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