He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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