Tell her she can't have a vagina
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
