so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
