dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
