Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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