the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
