Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You've changed since you got that strap on
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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