i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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