pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize