Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
