She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
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He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
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Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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