it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
