so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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