3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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