he shaved USA in his pubs
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
