Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
