How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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