Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Shame - the story of my life.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
