i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
