it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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