Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
