There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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