My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Congratulations! We have a period
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
