ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
