im gay
i know
yea but for you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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