you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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