Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
