Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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