He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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