$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
