He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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