Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
