I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize