You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We were destined to go to rehab together
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize