I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
