chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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