I never want to see another naked old woman again.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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