Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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