She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Who died my cat blue again?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
