I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
