between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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