I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
