I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
