Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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