I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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