Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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