She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
