Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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