I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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