Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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