I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
