margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So much rum. So many feels.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
